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Kelly's Favorites - Books & Cool Stuff

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    • Parenting Books
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  • Thoughtful Independent Play Toys & Gift Guide
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Children’s Books

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  • Social-Emotional
  • Read Together
  • Body Autonomy & Tricky Situations
  • Diversity
  • Grief

Social-Emotional

Bubble Gum Brain by Julia Cook

Bubble Gum Brain by Julia Cook

Subject: growth mindset

I can’t Do That, YET by Esther Cordova

I can’t Do That, YET by Esther Cordova

Subject: growth mindset

Your Fantastic Elastic Brain by JoAnn Deak, Ph.D.

Your Fantastic Elastic Brain by JoAnn Deak, Ph.D.

Subject: growth mindset

The Most Magnificent Thing by Ashley Spires

The Most Magnificent Thing by Ashley Spires

Subject: growth mindset

The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes by Mark Pett and Gary Rubenstein

The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes by Mark Pett and Gary Rubenstein

Subject: growth mindset

What Do You Do With a Chance? by Kobi Yamada

What Do You Do With a Chance? by Kobi Yamada

Subject: growth mindset

What Do You Do With a Problem? by Kobi Yamada

What Do You Do With a Problem? by Kobi Yamada

Subject: growth mindset

What Do You Do With an Idea? by Kobi Yamada

What Do You Do With an Idea? by Kobi Yamada

Subject: growth mindset

Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed by Mo Willems

Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed by Mo Willems

Subject: identity

Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes

Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes

Subject: identity

A Bad Case of Stripes by David Shannon

A Bad Case of Stripes by David Shannon

Red: A Crayon’s Story by Michael Hall

Red: A Crayon’s Story by Michael Hall

Subject: identity

What To Do When Your Temper Flares by Dawn Huebner

What To Do When Your Temper Flares by Dawn Huebner

Subject: anger

What to You Do When You Are Scared and Worried by James Crist

What to You Do When You Are Scared and Worried by James Crist

Subject: worry

Peter’s Chair by Ezra Jack Keats

Peter’s Chair by Ezra Jack Keats

The Mixed Up Chameleon by Eric Carle

The Mixed Up Chameleon by Eric Carle

Subject: identity

Sensitive Sam – Sam’s Sensory Adventure Has a Happy Ending! by Marla Roth-Fisher

Sensitive Sam – Sam’s Sensory Adventure Has a Happy Ending! by Marla Roth-Fisher

Subject: sensory

Squirmy Wormy – How I Learned to Help Myself by Lynda Farrington Wilson

Squirmy Wormy – How I Learned to Help Myself by Lynda Farrington Wilson

Subject: sensory

Happy Dreamer by Peter H. Reynolds

Happy Dreamer by Peter H. Reynolds

A Pocket Full of Kisses by Audrey Penn

A Pocket Full of Kisses by Audrey Penn

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

My Mouth is a Volcano by Julia Cook

My Mouth is a Volcano by Julia Cook

Subject: anger

I Was So Mad by Mercer Mayer

I Was So Mad by Mercer Mayer

Subject: anger

When Sophie Gets Angry by Molly Bang

When Sophie Gets Angry by Molly Bang

Subject: anger

The Duckling Gets a Cookie?! by Mo Willems

The Duckling Gets a Cookie?! by Mo Willems

Subject: anger

How Do Dinosaurs Say I’m Mad? by Jane Yolen

How Do Dinosaurs Say I’m Mad? by Jane Yolen

Subject: anger

All Kinds of Fears by Emma Brownjohn

All Kinds of Fears by Emma Brownjohn

Subject: fear

When I Feel Scared by Cornelia Maude Spelman

When I Feel Scared by Cornelia Maude Spelman

Subject: fear

What To Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner

What To Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner

Subject: worry

The Worry Glasses – Overcoming Anxiety by Donalisa Helsley

The Worry Glasses – Overcoming Anxiety by Donalisa Helsley

Subject: worry

Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes

Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes

Subject: worry

Read Together

I Ain’t Gonna Paint No More! by Karen Beaumont

I Ain’t Gonna Paint No More! by Karen Beaumont

I Dissent: Ruth Bader Ginsburg Makes Her Mark by Debbie Levy

I Dissent: Ruth Bader Ginsburg Makes Her Mark by Debbie Levy

You are Special by Max Lucado

You are Special by Max Lucado

Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! by Mo Willems

Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! by Mo Willems

Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein

Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein

Riddles, Riddles, Riddles by Darwin A. Hindman

Riddles, Riddles, Riddles by Darwin A. Hindman

Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids by Rob Elliott

Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids by Rob Elliott

Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids by Rob Elliott

Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids by Rob Elliott

A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein

A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein

The Book with No Pictures by B.J. Novak

The Book with No Pictures by B.J. Novak

Corduroy by Don Freeman

Corduroy by Don Freeman

The Color Thief by Andrew Fusek Peters and Polly Peters

The Color Thief by Andrew Fusek Peters and Polly Peters

What’s In There? – All About Before You Were Born by Robie H. Harris

What’s In There? – All About Before You Were Born by Robie H. Harris

Body Autonomy & Tricky Situations

The Boys Body Book by Kelli Dunham

The Boys Body Book by Kelli Dunham

No More Secrets for Me by Oralee Wachter

No More Secrets for Me by Oralee Wachter

What Would You Do? – A Kid’s Guide to Tricky and Sticky Situations by Linda Schwartz

What Would You Do? – A Kid’s Guide to Tricky and Sticky Situations by Linda Schwartz

Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids by Kristen Jensen

Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids by Kristen Jensen

I Said No: A Kid to Kid Guide for Keeping Private Parts Private by Kimberly King

I Said No: A Kid to Kid Guide for Keeping Private Parts Private by Kimberly King

No Trespassing – This is MY Body by Pattie Fitzgerald

No Trespassing – This is MY Body by Pattie Fitzgerald

Diversity

Wonder by R. J. Palacio

Wonder by R. J. Palacio

The Color of Us by Karen Katz

The Color of Us by Karen Katz

Last Stop on Market Street by Matt De La Pena

Last Stop on Market Street by Matt De La Pena

Sparkle Boy by Leslea Newman

Sparkle Boy by Leslea Newman

Grief

Beginnings and Endings with Lifetimes In Between by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen

Beginnings and Endings with Lifetimes In Between by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen

I’ll Always Love You by Hans Wilhelm

I’ll Always Love You by Hans Wilhelm

Daily Parenting Inspiration

šŸš€ The Magic of ā€œWhat’s Your Plan?ā€ šŸš€ šŸš€ The Magic of ā€œWhat’s Your Plan?ā€ šŸš€

Ever feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending shoe battle? 🄓

You start with a gentle reminder… then a choice… then a consequence… then a full-on ā€œPut on your dang shoes already!ā€ šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

Instead, try this: ā€œWhat’s your plan for getting shoes on today?ā€ šŸ‘Ÿ

✨ Boom—instant shift! ✨

You’re no longer giving an order (which kids love to push against). Instead, you’re giving them autonomy while still assuming shoes are happening. Now, their brain kicks in:

🧠 ā€œOh, do I have a plan? Nope… guess I need one!ā€

They figure it out, they take action, and they move one step closer to independence. šŸ™Œ

Give it a try and tell me what happens! ā¬‡ļøšŸ’¬

—

šŸ’” Want more game-changing parenting strategies? Join my upcoming P.E.T. (Parent Effectiveness Training) class!

šŸ“… Starts Tuesday, March 25th
ā° 9:30 AM Pacific Time (via Zoom)
✨ First class is FREE!

In this class, you'll learn powerful tools to reduce power struggles and build strong, respectful relationships with your kids.

Message me or comment below if you want details! šŸ’™
ā€œHow dare you defy me!ā€ 😱 Gulp.

The word ā€œdefianceā€ always makes me pause. What do we really mean when we say a child is being defiant?

They won’t listen.
They won’t cooperate.
They won’t do what we want.
But… what if what we want isn’t compatible with what they need in that moment? And what if their ā€œdefianceā€ is really just them using the only tool they have to stand up for themselves? (Because let’s be honest—kids see power being used all the time!)

What if, instead of labeling it as defiance, we listened? What if we got curious about what was so important to them that it was stopping them from helping us?

šŸ’” Here’s an example:

Child A wears a new hat to school. Child B snatches it off her head.
Teacher takes the hat from Child A.
Child A, totally incensed, SNEAKS it back. Twice.

At first glance? Defiance.
But when the teacher listens, she learns that Child A isn’t being stubborn—she feels punished for someone else’s actions.

So the teacher gives her more information:
"The hat was distracting me while I was talking, and I needed to finish."

And just like that, the child responds:
"Well, if I knew that, I would’ve put it in my backpack. Can I do that instead? I’m worried it’ll get taken sitting out like that."

✨ BOOM. Cooperation. ✨

Instead of wielding power and getting defiance in return, the teacher communicated—and got a natural, thoughtful solution.

Isn’t communication the best?! šŸ˜

Want to learn tools to listen, set boundaries, and solve problems so your home is full of more love and cooperation?

šŸ“… Parent Effectiveness Training – Online
šŸ—“ Tuesdays | March 25 - May 20
ā° 9:30 AM - 12:30 PM

Join me! Link in bio. šŸ‘‡ #ParentingForMoreJoy #CommunicationWins #DefianceOrMisunderstanding #parenteffectivenesstraining #RespectfulParenting #ParentingTips #respectfulparent #PositiveParenting #rie #parentingclasses
One of the biggest reasons I teach Parent Effectiv One of the biggest reasons I teach Parent Effectiveness Training? šŸ‘‡

Because I used to wonder: Why do some kids tell their parents everything while others hide it all?

When my kids were little, I was determined to figure this out. And what I found boiled down to two simple (but not easy!) things:

✨ Acceptance & Listening. ✨

When kids feel accepted—when they know we’re truly listening without judgment, criticism, or unsolicited advice—they open up. They feel safe. They feel loved. ā¤ļø

Is this hard? YES. Especially when they share something that makes you want to scream, panic, or hand them a 10-step plan for better choices. šŸ˜…

But here’s the thing: My kids tell me.
They tell me when they’re in a mess and need help.
They tell me when something is weighing on their conscience.
And most of the time—once they’ve been heard—they actually ask for advice.

One simple phrase that helps:
šŸ‘‰ ā€œDo you want me to just listen, or do you want advice?ā€

If they want advice, I share it—gently. If they don’t, I zip it. (Not easy, but worth it. šŸ˜†)

And you know what? The time for advice always comes.

#ParentingForMoreJoy #ListeningMatters #ParentEffectivenessTraining #ParentingTips #PositiveParenting  #parentingclasses #RespectfulParenting #attachmentparenting  #rie
Or 3-year-olds… or 5-year-olds! šŸ˜† Does it re Or 3-year-olds… or 5-year-olds! šŸ˜†

Does it really matter if they insist the cup is blue when it’s clearly purple? šŸ’œāž”ļøšŸ’™

Does it matter if they say, ā€œNo, these aren’t Vans, they’re Airwalks!ā€ šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø

Does it matter if they swear the teacher won’t care… even when you know the teacher definitely will?

NO. No, it doesn’t. šŸ™ƒ

They’ll learn. This will pass.

I’ve learned to just say ā€œOKā€ and move on. They heard me. They’ll process it (even if they never admit it). And more often than not… it sinks in. šŸ˜‰

Don’t forget I have a class coming up that will help you out of power struggles like a BOSS!

Tuesday mornings, March 25th - May 20th
9:30am-12:30 PM PACIFIC TIME 

Link in bio
Tired of nagging? Here’s what actually works. L Tired of nagging? Here’s what actually works.

Last week, we talked about who owns the problem—a key part of the Behavior Window in Parent Effectiveness Training. If your child is struggling, they own the problem. Your job? Listen and guide.

But what happens when you own the problem? šŸ¤”

Let’s say:
🚿 Your child leaves wet towels and clothes on the bathroom floor.
ā³ Your child plays Legos before school and is running late—but you have a meeting to get to.

They’re not bothered. But you are.

So how do you get them to change—without nagging, bribing, or battling?

šŸ’” Enter the Confrontive I-Message. It’s a simple way to communicate clearly so your child actually wants to help. It has three parts:

1ļøāƒ£ Describe what you see (no judgments like ā€œmessyā€ or ā€œirresponsibleā€).
2ļøāƒ£ Explain the impact on you.
3ļøāƒ£ Share how you feel about it.

Here’s how it might go:

🚿 Scenario 1: The Wet Towels
šŸ‘©ā€šŸ‘§ ā€œHey Maya, I have a bit of a problem I could use your help withā€¦ā€
(This gives your child a moment to shift into Helper mode.)
šŸ‘§ ā€œOkayā€¦ā€
šŸ‘©ā€šŸ‘§ ā€œWhen wet towels are left on the floor, I don’t have one to use and have to find a dry one. It’s frustrating to do that while dripping wet.ā€
šŸ‘§ ā€œOh… sorry, Mom. I’ll go pick them up.ā€
šŸ‘©ā€šŸ‘§ ā€œThank you!ā€

ā³ Scenario 2: Running Late
šŸ‘©ā€šŸ‘¦ ā€œHey kiddo, I’m a bit worried because it’s almost time to go, and you’re not ready for school. I really can’t be late for my meeting.ā€
šŸ‘¦ ā€œOkay, let me just add this last piece, and I’ll hurry up.ā€
šŸ‘©ā€šŸ‘¦ ā€œThank you, I’d appreciate that.ā€

Sound too good to be true? Maybe. Maybe not. Sometimes, kids just need to understand the impact of their actions instead of hearing nagging reminders. And yes, sometimes they still resist… but we’ll talk about that next time. šŸ˜‰

✨ Want to make parenting easier? These skills take practice, but once you start using them, conflicts smooth out, parenting feels lighter, and your relationship grows stronger.

Want to learn more? Join my 8-week online P.E.T. course! Try the first class FREE! šŸŽ‰

šŸ“… Tuesdays, March 25 – May 20
ā° 9:30 AM – 12:30 PM PT

Drop a šŸ’” in the comments if you’ve tried this before! šŸ‘‡ #ParentingTips #ParentEffectivenessTraining #PositiveParenting
Sometimes things like finding the shoes, not being Sometimes things like finding the shoes, not being late, making sure the homework gets done feel so urgent.

So we insist.

We rush things.

We pressure.

What if we didn’t? These moments are not emergencies. No one will be harmed if we are late to that party or even late to school. No one.

Except maybe our kids’ self esteem.

Maybe our relationship with them.

The thing is, most things in parenting that FEEL like emergencies, are not.

It’s ok to slow down.

It’s ok to revisit the homework issue when you’re in a place of compassion.

It’s ok to wait.

When we wait and recognize these moments are not emergencies, NOT reflections of us, we find that we do not send stressed children off to school, we do not have a child crying over the missing shoes or unfinished homework.

You wait, the shoe might be found, it might not.

You wait and listen about how hard, or stupid, or boring the homework is and then you figure it out. Together.

This is my mantra when I feel like rushing everyone or engaging in a power struggle.

ā€œIs this an EMERGENCY?ā€

Most often it’s not. The question slows me down, helps me prioritize the people in front of me instead of the things that need to get done.

#slowdown #parenting #parenteffectivenesstraining #sandiegomom #parentingclasses #emotionalawareness #raisethechildchangetheworld #hitpause See less
This is a big one! If you want your child to tell This is a big one! If you want your child to tell you the big things, it's tricky if they hear you judge others. They may not think you will accept their own truths and stop sharing with you. 

One of the most powerful ways of showing acceptance is Active Listening. When a child expresses a problem, try not to offer advice, solutions or analyze. Just listen, reflect back what you hear, and watch them continue to think the problem through on their own. 

One of the most powerful ways of showing acceptance is Active Listening. When a child expresses a problem, try not to offer advice or solutions or analyze. Just listen, reflect back what you hear and watch them continue to think the problem through on their own. 

Sign up below:
https://respectfulparent.com/pet-course/ #parenteffectivenesstraining #sandiegomoms #sandiegoparentingclasses #attachmentparenting #parentingclasses #rie #respectfulparenting #sandiegoparents #parenteffectivnesstraining #RespectfulParenting #sandiegomom #respectfulparent
Parent Effectiveness Training is made up of a very Parent Effectiveness Training is made up of a very specific set of communication skills that enable parents to positively influence their children’s behavior. It is a blueprint for following the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you.

At the very root of P.E.T. is a belief that children aren’t bad or mischievous; they simply behave in ways that satisfy their particular needs at the moment. A baby cries because he is hungry; four-year-old sticks her hands into a can of paint and spills it on the carpet because she wants to play with the paint, to explore; a sixteen-year-old comes home later than you feel is safe because he feels a need to be with his friends.

Children have the right to meet their needs, but parents do too. It is in meeting these conflicting needs that most parent/child relationships get into trouble. Some parents insist on obedience from their children, so they get their needs met at the expense of the children meeting theirs’. Other parents, wishing to spare their children any hurt and aggravation, give in and let their children get their way, but then the parents suffer. Either way, someone is left feeling resentful of the other. It is this constant cycle of power struggles and the subsequent pent-up resentments that result that slowly begin to erode the parent/child relationship.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. There is a third option: Both parents and children can get their needs met. 

Learn More or Sign up:
Online Course Starting Tuesday Mornings March 25th - May 20th
9:30am - 12:30pm Pacific Time
https://respectfulparent.com/pet-course/
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