Parents can save themselves a lot of headaches by taking some simple preventative measures in their environment. Some of the most awesome environment hacks I’ve heard create a lot less nagging and yelling. Changing the environment helps children successfully improve behavior without having to do anything at all “to” the child, you just set them up for success a little bit better by creating better spaces.
Generally, parents worry about the environment when they have babies and toddlers. They put up baby gates to prevent falls, lock cabinets, toilets, and doors to keep young children out of harm’s
way. Some people create safe play spaces that so they don’t need to baby proof the entire house. There are lots of ways to prevent trouble as far as baby-proofing goes. I’ve noticed however that once children no longer need the baby-proofing, parents are eager to get the house back to “how it was.” Continuing to consider the environment as a child ages can prevent so many problems, power struggles, nagging and extra work on the part of Mom and Dad. As Benjamin Franklin says, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Here are some examples of how you can simplify your life by looking at the environment:
Take a Look at WHERE your Problems are Happening
Sometimes there are recurring problems and no amount of nagging, rules or problem solving seem to help. This is a time when you can consider the location. Is your child constantly stopped in front of the TV? Is trash always on the coffee table? Is laundry on the floor Every.Single.Day?! Is your child constantly climbing shelves to reach food? Or constantly coming to you for snacks? These are great places to start when making your environment work for you instead of against you. Then you can start thinking about what you can do about it.
There are three main ways you can cut problems off in their path, and as always, including your child in the brainstorming always works best, even if it’s just making a few tweaks, they’ll feel empowered and more likely to be on board.
Enriching the Environment
Also known as adding to the environment a lot can be done to prevent problems by enriching the environment. Some more common things are adding different toys for a rainy day, rotating toys when kids start to
get bored or outgrow them, new games for a long car trip, enlarging play spaces as kids age, adding swings, sandboxes etc. What about less obvious problems like that annoying wrapper problem on the coffee table or the laundry on the bathroom floor? In my classes, I ask people to think of rooms that always seem to have problems and we brainstorm ways to solve them. One example: adding small trash cans to the rooms where wrappers are frequently a problem so people don’t have to walk away from that AMAZING World Cup match. Families have added laundry hampers their children’s room and bathrooms, one child specifically wanted a basketball hamper so it would be more F-U-N to toss his clothes in. These are all simple solutions to nagging problems.
Lego Mess – Be Gone!
In my family, the two best environment modifications were the Lego Bags the Privacy Pop.* I mean, Legos, everyone has Lego issues, right?! These things are everywhere -they are sharp and they hurt. We had storage boxes that resulted in lots of digging and dumping and lots of stragglers left to attack my unsuspecting feet. We tried bigger boxes, we tried cooler boxes, but they all resulted in the dumping of the legos. I realized my kids needed to be able to find the missing pieces more easily and searched for an easier way. I googled and found what ended up being our perfect solution. The Lego Bag that turns into a floor mat when open. I’ll give you a moment to listen to the angels singing in heaven.
This totally solved our problem AND it did even more than that. These mats are HUGE so legos are spread out evenly on the floor, making them easier to find. They let my kids reconnect with favored pieces they’d forgotten about, their love for legos was reignited which reduced their time doing other less flattering activities ;). It was like they had received heaps of brand new legos all over again.
The unexpected twist though came on vacation. Normally I let my kids pick what toys they want to bring and I really limit the number of legos because they’re messy, easy to lose and again- sharp. This time though my daughter brings me her bag of legos and at first I’m resistant. Then I pause and look at the bag – its easy to fit in cracks and smoosh into available places in the trunk, unlike a big box that’s cumbersome to pack so I evaluate and decide to give it a try. She brought them camping and you know what happened? In between the time she was bike riding, scootering and swimming she was playing legos NOT asking me to entertain her while I’m trying to cook over a very small flame. Environment mod status- SUCCESS.
The End of Sleepless Nights
The other giant addition was in sleeping. One of my children is a tricky sleeper – lots of fears going on there. So I was scrolling through ideas with him on what would help and we came across this bed tent by Privacy Pop. We decided that it would make the room seem smaller and less scary and would feel cozier like a tent. He also couldn’t see any shadows if he was zipped safely inside. So I ordered it with a bit of heartburn because, ouch it wasn’t cheap, but we gave it a shot and he LOVES it. It has also turned into a great play space and has greatly reduced night wakings. I’ve also heard reports that this really helps kids with sensory processing struggles relax so that’s an added bonus. Another SUCCESS.
Removing from the Environment
Another way to limit behavior you don’t like is to remove things from the environment. Is your child constantly claiming boredom even though they have soooo many toys? After some sensitive observation and trial and error, you may notice that there are simply too many options and your child is overwhelmed, not bored at all! Removing some toys may be just the thing to help your child thrive in their environment.
That TV trance your child gets into every time he walks by? Consider moving the T.V. out of the path of traffic so it takes a little intention to find. Think about having a special box out of the way for those tempting tablets. Another family, tired of nagging their children to make their beds, all decided to get rid of their top sheets selecting duvet covers instead which are easier to make. These are all examples of how sometimes, less is more.
Changing the Environment
The final way to set yourself up for fewer problems, and less yelling and nagging is to change your environment to prevent the problem. That child that is constantly asking you for food or climbing the shelves to reach the prized goldfish crackers? One idea is to create a snack shelf with easy to reach or prepared items. In our house, we do this in both the cupboard and refrigerator. I saw another family put their microwave lower so even their 6-year-old could heat up simple items. Maybe you’d like to sleep in? Leaving milk on a low shelf and cereal on the counter in the mornings is another way to help change the environment to meet your needs and catch more zzzzz’s.
One of our persistent problems was bikes blocking the driveway, so we got an old school style bike rack that was easy to use and put it next to the garage. Now we rarely have to get out of the car to move bikes. My daughter decided to use painters tape to make spots for her different sized smaller vehicles like her plasma car and that has worked well for her. In the few times it doesn’t, there is so much less resistance because it was her plan and I can just say “Oops your bikes not in its spot” and she’ll move it because she knows EXACTLY where the “spot” is because she made it herself. We’ve done the work up front to communicate, solve and execute so nagging and yelling is almost non-existent in these areas.
As I mentioned before, the key to changing the environment is including children in the process. That way they feel included, respected and therefore take ownership of their ideas and that is the key to resiliency, critical thinking, and problem-solving that are so important in life.
These are totally not scary Amazon affiliate links. They help keep my blog going if you buy them here instead of some other place. That’s a win/win for sure!
Other links you may like:
One Sure Fire Way Your Kids Can Problem Solve and Get Along
Cooperative Kids Without Punishment
Build a Stronger Relationship with Your Child – A Podcast with Kelly Meier, Respectful Parent and Maryann Jacobsen, Feareless Feeding, fron High Chair to High School
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