Archives

  • How Listening Helps Kids Be Thoughtful

    Active Listening –the phrase sounds so technical and jargony, maybe even a little insincere or formal. At least this is what I thought at first, but then I heard it done so incredibly naturally I didn’t even know it was happening. It was like magic, helping me understand my own thoughts and coming Read More...

  • One Simple Change That Helped My Child With Anxiety

    It allows them to think of the best solution for themselves, not for the parent. ( I never would have thought of a schedule because - gag! Not my style!) But this is why it works and is honored by the child - it’s the solution that works for the child as their own person. It IS my son’s style and well, he’s not me. I could have easily imposed something that he “had to” stick to, but because this solution is an intrinsic thought, the follow through is pretty reliable and done with pride and self-awareness.

  • How I Became an Instructor for a San Diego Parenting Class
    San Diego Parenting

    Parenting is hard. When you don’t have tools in your toolbox it is almost impossible. So you fall back on what you know – what was done to you, after all, you turned out fine….right? It can’t be all that hard. Until IT IS. Until your kids won’t brush their teeth, do their homework, Read More...

  • Why Connection Isn’t a Reward for Rude Behavior

    At a time when many parents would sit a child in time out or send them to their room or punish them in some way – I included mine. I did not reward him as some may see it. I reconnected with him and I helped him. I invited him. I gave him quiet acceptance. Instead of replying that, yes, I needed space from him I said just the opposite - “I would love for you to join us. It is so peaceful up there. Let’s go.” And we did. And his mood changed, he relaxed and recovered and talked with us.

  • One Surefire Way Your Kids Can Problem Solve (and Get Along!)

    Children and conflict—it’s inevitable. As adults we often assume it is our job to solve these conflicts for them. However, what if that isn’t our job? What if the kids are capable? By solving their own problems they can become confident problem solvers that need less and less adult “help” to solve minor and, sometimes, not-so-minor problems. This approach works great with siblings, but I recently had the chance to try this out with a larger group of children and the result was just as cool

  • Why I Don’t Spank, Punish or Bribe My Kids

    People are often surprised that I don’t spank my kids, even more so that I’ve never given a time-out or a punishment. I’ve never rewarded them with stickers or presents to get them to do what I want and yet, they still cooperate.  When this discussion comes up, people often ask why and I am Read More...

  • The Day I got Helicopter Parented (And How it Made Me Feel)

    It had been about two weeks since I’d been out of the boot cast and I was cleared to exercise again. I was headed to spin class for the first time in I don’t know how long, but I was itching to exercise and do something that would really get me sweating and working.  I knew spinning was probably Read More...

  • Be Careful

    We tell them to be careful
    We tell them not to fall
    We don’t let them walk to school alone
    No playing outside with friends
    No games out in the street
    We sit them in the classroom
    Withhold recess when they’re bad
    No running on the playground
    No hugging Read More...