Why Respectful Parenting is like Weightlifting

– by Polly

It is hard, but extremely fulfilling.

Respectful parenting takes work. It takes time and commitment, especially if you are coming from a background of dysfunctional parenting that has not worked for your family. It can be difficult letting go of your old techniques and stepping up to the bar. It is hard to let go of your ego and realize you might not be as strong as you thought you were. But the great news is, you will get stronger fast, particularly if you focus on…

… Incremental progression.

You can triple the amount you lift in a year, just by adding a couple of pounds to the bar every time you work out. And we all know how fast a year goes by, right moms? The same applies to respectful parenting. All it takes is adding a respectful interaction to your repertoire every few days for a month or so, and you will have most daily interactions covered before you know it. A diaper change here, a breakfast interaction there… Just think what you could achieve in a year… World’s Strongest Mom!

The more you use your parenting “muscle” the easier it gets to use it.

So you’re stacking up your respectful daily interactions: notice anything? Doesn’t it suddenly feel easier? Don’t you suddenly feel like you could tackle just about anything, and with respect? This will happen. You will suddenly hit a point where you can engage cruise control for a while and just enjoy your family. You can watch the fruits of your labor and it won’t feel like hard work anymore (for the most part).

It is intrinsically motivating.

This relates to incremental progression, too. I lift all alone in my makeshift home gym, and seeing myself gradually lift higher and higher weights is reward enough. My motivation comes from doing the activity itself. This is exactly like respectful parenting. It is its own reward. The more you increase connection and understanding between you and your child, the more rewarding the experience becomes. Beautiful, isn’t it?

Ladies, people might think it’s strange that you are a “chick who lifts”, just like they might find your parenting methods odd and unorthodox. The proof, however, is in the parenting pudding (or those guns you’re now sporting!): respectful parenting WORKS. See here for a few stories of the positive results of respectful parenting.

It makes you stronger.

Pumping iron will give you buns of steel. Respectful parenting will strengthen your core. There’s no escaping it; every mother I know who follows respectful parenting has, at some point, had to shine a light on herself, ask the big questions, admit vulnerability and emerge stronger on the other side. It’s a journey, not a destination, and while at times being a respectful parent can feel like very hard work, you truly reap what you sow.

You can start whenever you want, and you will see results fast.

Respectful parenting is not just for first time parents of young children. Children (and indeed adults) can benefit at any point in their lives from the introduction of respectful methods of interaction, just as lifting heavy weights is beneficial for most people. You can choose to lift the heavy weights at any time, and believe me: it won’t take long before you see beautiful muscles emerging.